If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
