Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
