Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
