You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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