I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
