so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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