Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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