I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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