its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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