I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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