That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
