Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
