I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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