I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
