goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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