Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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