just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
