Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
