I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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