it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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