I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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