Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
