oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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