white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he thought i was a dude.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
