Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
