He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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