I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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