I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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