covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
