i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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