operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
