so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
