you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
