He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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