so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
