Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize