I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
