I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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