The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Best friends brother. Beat that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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