I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize