There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
