A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
