Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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