At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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