watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
