thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
