Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
