1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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