there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
