My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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