He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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