I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Success! We fucked roommates!
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