Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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