if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
