my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The power of my boobs compel you
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize