I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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