Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
