how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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