Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
