I'm going to jail i love you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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