You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
