Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
3 2 1 whiskey
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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