We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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