just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
