is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
