What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
