Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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