Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
