Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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